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This will be a brief yet raw and honest post.   I was raised by my maternal grandparents, Laura and J.C. Smith, Senior.. I lovingly refer to them as Momma and Daddy.  Momma was a generous woman.  She taught me to be generous too.   She taught me to be a giver.  When I was 10 or 11 years old, a neighbor’s house burned to the ground and they lost everything.   Momma was gathering items to give to the family.  

I started grabbing clothes and toys that were not in the best condition.   Momma said, “You will not give anyone something you don’t want.  Give something you love and value.”  I was mad but I grabbed nicer clothes, shoes and dolls.  Momma was training me to meet a need.  Momma was training me to be like Jesus who met the physical as well as spiritual needs of others.      

Momma raised me with biblical principles.  Throughout my childhood, I often heard phrases like, “The more you give, the more God gives to you”  “You can’t beat God giving” “The more you give, the more you will receive” “God loves a cheerful giver” and  “In your giving, you will be blessed”.   If I give, it will be given back to me with “good measure, pressed down, and shaken together, and running over, shall men give into your bosom” (Luke 6:38). What happens when men don’t give into your bosom?  What happens when you sow generously but reap sparingly?  Who will help the helper?       

 I often wonder if anyone considers sending me a random CashApp, paying my bills, or purchasing me a birthday gift.   There is so much ingratitude around me including my own sons.  My generosity is not limited to money.  By the way, I do not have a lot of money. I’m simply generous.   I sow good deeds by showing kindness and being supportive.  If I do not reach out to others, my phone rarely lights up.  From childhood until a few years ago, I used to believe that someone would give unto me like I have given or currently give unto others.   That has not been and is not my experience; therefore, I am in a bit of a quandary.  I am debating on whether or not to continue being generous.   I know the Bible says do not be weary in well doing, but I am weary and faint.