This will be a brief yet raw and honest post. I was raised by my maternal grandparents, Laura and J.C. Smith, Senior.. I lovingly refer to them as Momma and Daddy. Momma was a generous woman. She taught me to be generous too. She taught me to be a giver. When I was 10 or 11 years old, a neighbor’s house burned to the ground and they lost everything. Momma was gathering items to give to the family.
I started grabbing clothes and toys that were not in the best condition. Momma said, “You will not give anyone something you don’t want. Give something you love and value.” I was mad but I grabbed nicer clothes, shoes and dolls. Momma was training me to meet a need. Momma was training me to be like Jesus who met the physical as well as spiritual needs of others.
Momma raised me with biblical principles. Throughout my childhood, I often heard phrases like, “The more you give, the more God gives to you” “You can’t beat God giving” “The more you give, the more you will receive” “God loves a cheerful giver” and “In your giving, you will be blessed”. If I give, it will be given back to me with “good measure, pressed down, and shaken together, and running over, shall men give into your bosom” (Luke 6:38). What happens when men don’t give into your bosom? What happens when you sow generously but reap sparingly? Who will help the helper?
I often wonder if anyone considers sending me a random CashApp, paying my bills, or purchasing me a birthday gift. There is so much ingratitude around me including my own sons. My generosity is not limited to money. By the way, I do not have a lot of money. I’m simply generous. I sow good deeds by showing kindness and being supportive. If I do not reach out to others, my phone rarely lights up. From childhood until a few years ago, I used to believe that someone would give unto me like I have given or currently give unto others. That has not been and is not my experience; therefore, I am in a bit of a quandary. I am debating on whether or not to continue being generous. I know the Bible says do not be weary in well doing, but I am weary and faint.