How many of us grew up with a strong support system? I know I did. I am a product of a village. My maternal grandparents raised me. My aunts, uncles, cousins, neighbors, friends, school personnel and church were a part of that village. I can remember visiting relatives who lived in other cities and states, and vice versa. I used to go to Chicago every other summer in order to visit my dad’s side of the family. I was fortunate to have a relationship with my maternal and paternal family members. Since I have gotten older, those dynamics have changed. What happened to the village? Villages have been reduced to tribes.
Because the village was a force to be reckoned with, we didn’t get into a lot of trouble. Any self-respecting adult had the right to spank us. Back then, the village produced good fruit. The village encouraged, supported and disciplined us. The village led by example. The village prayed, covered, and gave godly advice. Where am I going with this? Someone sent me a video of a young girl kicking her grandmother; however, the person recording the incident did not intervene.
First of all, I would not have kicked my grandmother or any elder. If I had the courage to kick an adult, I believe every adult in the store would have hit or scolded me. It would have been a “soul train line of spankings”. Sadly, in today’s culture spanking is deemed abuse by many. If the grandmother had spanked her, someone in the store would have called the police and the police would have called Child Welfare.
From the perspective of a Child Welfare professional, much of the village has transitioned from family intervention to state intervention. There is an expectation for the state to serve as mother, father, grandparents, uncles, aunts, and community. I have become really disappointed with the state’s involvement in family matters. I can’t blame the state. I blame the village for believing the state can be a better parent and source of support. Or that the state is better equipped to handle rebellion and disobedience.
Solomon’s advice to parents is to “Train a child in the way he should go, and when he is old he will not turn from it” (Proverbs 22:6). Families used to have the freedom to “train” and/or discipline a child. In our current state of affairs, that grandmother could have been investigated for abuse had she “spanked” her grandchild. We are witnessing a generation running amuck because the structure of the village is incomplete and the state is filling in the blanks.