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        I previously shared that I was looking for a house.  I paid earnest money and the home inspection was a success.  I was so excited.  I was extremely close to becoming a first time homeowner at the age of 55. Truthfully, I never had the desire to own a home.  Although my family, friends and society view homeownership as a sign of success or an investment, I have always viewed homeownership as a headache.  Living in an apartment has always been a safe place for me.  When items break, I call maintenance at no additional cost.  If I purchase a home, I will have to pay ALL out-of-pocket expenses. 
     My desire to own this particular home was quickly shattered.  After the lender told me the mortgage was going to be $2200 per month, I opted to cancel the contract and get my money back.  I don’t have a lot of bills but I don’t earn a lot of money either.   I could have paid the mortgage but money would have been tight.  I was not willing to be “house poor”.   In my opinion, “house poor” is the ability to say I own a home but I cannot afford to eat.  I work in a profession whereas I know a person’s financial situation.  I know how much they earn, the mortgage/car payments, insurance, food, and entertainment.   I also know how stressed out families are because they are barely making ends meet.  If you know me, food is my friend.  I am going to eat if I don’t do anything else.  
    I was slightly disappointed because I was looking forward to having additional space.  I envisioned my grandchildren coming over and playing in the backyard.  I envisioned cooking and having my sons over for dinner.  I sulked. I pouted.  I was discouraged.  I was angry.  I was angry because of inflation and high interest rates.  I was angry because the organization that employs me is not paying me a decent hourly wage.  When God?  When will anything work out in my favor?  Instead of a pity party, how do I overcome this disappointment?  First, I acknowledged my disappointment. Second, I reframed my thoughts.   I recognized that I was approved for the house but this was not the right house for me.  Disappointment can be conquered for those of us who are in Christ because when things don’t go our way, things still go our way.