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     This time of year we are supposed to deck the halls and tis the season to be jolly fa la la la la la la la la.  Although this is a joyous occasion, it is challenging for many who are remembering the loved ones they have lost.   Whether it was recent or a long time ago, feelings of grief can be heightened and may seem overwhelming during the holiday season.  Christmas is a season of family traditions, gatherings and togetherness.  Loss can affect your decision to celebrate or how you will celebrate.  There is no predictable timetable of when and how grief will surface, but there is a time for everything (Ecclesiastes 3:1-8).  Grief is universal human experience but the way each of us process it varies from person to person.     

 When my mother was on her death bed, she asked me not to allow her death to consume or overtake me.  She encouraged me to live my life out loud just as she had done.  She encouraged me to continue being the “sweet/mean” girl I have always been.  She encouraged me to continue loving others.  She reminded me that just because her life was near the end, that does not mean my life should end.  She encouraged me to think of her and laugh often.  She encouraged me to take care of my baby brother as we were the only two children she birthed.            

 When I thought I had mastered the art of grief, one phone call sent me into a downward spiral.  Michael had a massive heart attack and died.  He was 45 years young.   It felt like someone sucker punched me in the gut.  Since we were children, you didn’t hear his name without mine.  It was always Michael and Teresa and now it’s only me.  I have no mother or brother.  Talk about feeling like Job… I had never felt more alone in my life.  Feelings of loneliness almost destroyed me..         

Grief can change chemicals in the brain, hormonal functioning, and your immune system can be compromised.  It is important to grieve; however, it is equally as important to take care of your mental, physical, emotional and spiritual health while you are grieving.  If you have lost a loved one due to death, divorce, break-up, or disagreements, the holidays can be difficult.  You might not “feel” like being jolly.  Remember grief is a process and pace yourself, give yourself some grace, allow yourself to feel every emotion, honor your loved ones memory, surround yourself with family and friends who love and support you, create new traditions, take a short trip,  volunteer at a hospital, homeless or women’s shelter.  It is amazing what community can do in order to lift your spirits.Be encouraged! God is yet faithful!